Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
