If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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