1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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