I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
