I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
