I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
