i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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