There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How does one acquire holy water?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
