Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
