I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
