nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
