Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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