She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
