Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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