he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
