There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
