dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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