mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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