She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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