Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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