If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
