I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
