Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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