I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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