everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
