She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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