I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
