was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
