So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Someone came in the potted fern
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
