it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
