and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
