i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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