Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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