my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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