I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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