I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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