and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
