Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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