so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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