dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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