ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
