ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
