just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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