So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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