Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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