We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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