I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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