At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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