I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
