Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
