the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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