Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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